no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
