My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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