you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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