mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am one with the molecules
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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