He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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