i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
