I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My feet surprised me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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