marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
