What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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