You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
