Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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