Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
