Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
