You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize