Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize