Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
