dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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