**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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