Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
