her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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