he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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