I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
