Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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