Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
