But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
