Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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