can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
