it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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