i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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