bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
