no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
