Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
