Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
