your room smells of hookers.
And success
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
