i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
