so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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