im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
