just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
