Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize