she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
