3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
