He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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