i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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