We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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