i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
