I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
