The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
