Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
