Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
