Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
