it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize