ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
