I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
