dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
