he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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