Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
