The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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