idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
