Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
