you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
is that a dick in a sweater?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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