I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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