absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
