Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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