I want you more than these girls want KFC
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize